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Parents behavior affects the child - Part I-
As a parent, how you react to every action of your child does play a very important role in modulating the personality of your child as they move into adulthood.
Do you elate yourself as one of those new age parents, tolerant yet strict as per the situation needs? Do you fret and even stay up till your kid gets home from a night out with friends? Are you regularly going through your child's belongings - cupboard, books, online profile, SMSes, etc? Do you always tell your child what to do and what not to just to ‘keep them safe’?
Every parent has their own style of parenting - their way of bringing up their children.
According to a leading child psychologist, one’s parenting style, if negative, can have an adverse effect on the psyche of the child even to the point of causing serious damage.
She discloses, 'Right approach of parenting is one where respects the needs and emotions of their child as much as the child respects the parents. It's also equally important for parents to encourage the development of the child's self-esteem. They need to teach them to feel good about themselves. Moreover, no matter how silly or insignificant it may look, addressing a child's concerns is very important, even if it’s just the fear of entering a room alone'.
The counsellor adds on to say that since the child's first social interaction is with the parents, the style of interaction used here will have a significant bearing on the child as they grow-up.
A mother of a seven-year-old boy says, 'I lookout against being over protective so that my children learn to fight their own battles. For the moment I am playing the role of a guide, protector in the hope that they learn to be independent and take his own decisions as an adult', she explains.
Admitting that though at times she does get 'extremely over-lenient', she is also the disciplinarian in the family.
'My husband is more lenient, knowledge imparting, fun type of parent, so the task of balancing things out and keeping my son in check is left to me. Thankfully he’s growing up to be a well balanced, sensitive and grounded kid, so I guess I’m doing something right somewhere,' she says.
If you're too bothered that your college going kid is spending too much on clothes or shoes, this behaviour could be the result of you saying 'no' to them every time as kids or if your children hesitate to take any decision on his own, it could be the result of you being an over-protective or dominating parent in their younger days or if people complain that your child is overly arrogant and rude, it could be because you did not correct these faults in their childhood days itself.
