Subscription 
Imperative skills for kids to behave better: Dr. Alvin Ng (Part II)- 30-Sep-2017
Pills can be shortcuts but pills do not teach skills. If a problem is noticed, deal with it early. Chances are, it has been there for a long time but you have not realized it. So dont expect an overnight cure or "download". Work with it, work with family and friends, work with the whole community. We are all in this together.
Dumping problems onto the professionals does not help you or your children in the long run. An ethical professional will help your family rather than just your child by empowering all of you so that you go off as soon as possible and manage your family adequately - because there are plenty of other families out there needing help. There is no such thing as competition in well-being because its a win-win situation for everyone. Were all connected.
Get skilled, teach skills, keep sharing skills
One of the good things about teaching children to be increasingly functionally independent is so that they grow up confident about their abilities and get to individuate, rather than being dependent and feel like a burden to others.
It has been found that that the idea of being a burden, coupled with low confidence in self-ability to adapt or problem-solve leads to hopelessness, depression and suicidal ideations. So do empower children!
Being independent does not mean being individualistic. A sense of belongingness can still be there even as an independent person as the skills that are acquired are linked to all the people you grew up with. So let your child be free to individuate while you guide them towards confidence in problem-solving, communication, emotional regulation, socialisation and skills for daily living.
Let kindness, compassion, gentleness facilitate learning as comforted encouragement is known to boost learning, confidence and bonding.
If your child has some delay or is slow in development, please do something about it as soon as you detect any deficit. I hear of too many 20-something year olds who just stay and home and not do anything because their parents don't know what to do and they can't find any professionals or centres to help. This is because there are very few who can help.
People who can teach skills need not be only the professionals but everyone else which the basic skills that the child needs. Everyone can be the teacher - so make friends and get them to help with the teaching.
Empower yourselves to teach and empower others to do the same. If you can count money, teach counting money so that your child knows how to buy things independently. If you can make friends, teach your child to make friends.
If you have survived until now and manage to get married and have kids, then you are more than qualified already to be teaching survival skills / adaptive behaviour skills that are needed to survive in your children. Do not give up, you are already successful!
Now share that success by teaching, and get others to share their successes by teaching. Professionals can only do so much, but having a caring and active community around you can do much more. We're all connected. So let's help one another.
