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Knowing my child between 10 and 14 years- 26-Aug-2009
As they enter puberty, young teens undergo a great many physical changes, not only in size and shape, but also in things like the growth of pubic and underarm hair and increased body odor. For girls, changes include the development of breasts and the start of menstruation, for boys, the development of testes. Adolescents do not begin puberty at the same age. For girls, it may take place anywhere from the age of 8 to 13; in boys, on average, it happens about two years later. This is the time period when students physical characteristics vary the most within their classes and among their friendssome may grow so much that, by the end of the school year, they may be too large for the desks they were assigned in September. While, others may change more slowly. Early adolescence often brings out new concerns about body image and appearance. Both girls and boys who never before gave much thought to their looks may suddenly spend hours primping, worrying and complainingabout being too short, too tall, too fat, too skinny or too pimply. The rate at which physical growth and development takes place also can influence other parts of a young teen's life. An 11-year-old girl who has already reached puberty will have different interests than will a girl who does not do so until she's 14. Young teens who bloom very early or very late may have special concerns. Late bloomers (especially boys) may feel they can't compete in sports with more physically developed classmates. Early bloomers (especially girls) may be pressured into adult situations before they are emotionally or mentally able to handle them. The combined effect of the age on the beginning for physical changes in puberty and the ways in which friends, classmates, family and the world around them respond to those changes can have long-lasting effects on an adolescent. Whatever the rate of growth, many young teens have an unrealistic view of themselves and need to be reassured that differences in growth rates are normal. Emotional Changes Most experts believe that the idea of young teens being controlled by their "raging hormones" is exaggerated. However, this age can be one of mood swings, sulking, craving for privacy and short tempers. Young children are not able to think far ahead, but young teens can and dowhich allows them to worry about the future. Some may worry excessively about: Their school performance Their appearance, physical development and popularity The possible death of a parent Being bullied at school School violence Not having friends Drugs and drinking Hunger and poverty in the country Their inability to get a good job Nuclear bombs and terrorists attacks on the country The divorce of their parents Dying Many young teens are very self-conscious. And, because they are experiencing dramatic physical and emotional changes, they are often over sensitive about themselves. They may worry about personal qualities or defects that are major to them, but are hardly noticeable to others. (Belief: "I can't go to the party tonight because everyone will laugh at my pimples on my forehead." Facts: The pimple is tiny and hidden by hair.) A young teen also can be caught up in himself. He may believe that he is the only person who feels the way he feels or has the same experiences, that he is so special that no one else, particularly his family, can understand him. This belief can contribute to feelings of loneliness and isolation. Teens' emotions often seem blown up. Their actions seem unpredictable. It is normal for young teens to swing regularly from being happy to being sad and from feeling smart to feeling dumb. As a middle school counselor explains, "One minute, they want to be treated and taken care of like a small child. Five minutes later they are pushing adults away, saying, 'Let me do it.' It may help if you can help them understand that they are in the midst of some major changes, changes that don't always move steadily ahead." In addition to changes in the emotions that they feel, most young teens explore different ways to express their emotions. For example, a child who greeted friends and visitors with enthusiastic hugs may turn into a teen who gives these same people only a small wave or nod of the head. It's important to remember, though, that these are usually changes in ways of expressing feelings and not the actual feelings about friends, parents and family. Pay attention to excessive emotional swings or long-lasting sadness in your child. These can suggest severe emotional problems.
